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Pussy, why are you so afraid of your own success? Its clear that, by comparison to the majority, you are a modest panda. Thats charming, but you seem scared of going mainstream and scared of the attention being brought to you as a person as opposed to just your work. Da faq? Yeah yeah everyone will have their retarded fanbases who take their youtube idols' opinions as gospel (cough, totalfucktard for example, cough) but you should still give this a go whilst you're young. Take a chance you puss.
I’m gonna answer this one because it more accurately represents the feeling of what most people are thinking when saying “Oh, you wanna be popular for BRONY music instead? (pffffff HAAH WAAW)” “Why’d he delete everything when he was being told that people didn’t want him around?”.
I’m a little rash with my answers. I don’t always get the wording right. I get that most of the arguments against me creating things are cherry picking. I mean, jeez, “let’s just go back almost half a year to find a post about what I want to do next in order to pick apart an already flimsy argument BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT AT ALL!” to mention one. And I get that some people are disillusioned as to why I stopped, especially when some people mostly saw a channel that was picking up steam.
But I’m afraid of getting popular for the wrong reasons and that was sort of it for FP. I mean, I’m afraid of getting popular for that realization as time goes on. And, as time went on, I couldn’t look back on the stuff I did with any sort of great achievement in mind. Granted, it was a weird year in terms of figuring out what I wanted to do, what I was good at, what went over well, etc, but FP turned out to be something that I just couldn’t do forever. GUESS I HAVE TO DO IT 5EVER, RIGHT?! HEH HEH HEHnnnhhdfsno.
I get that the established order needs to be “attacked” sometimes in order to make a change, take for example PDP and Retsupurae, but the way I was going about it was wrong. Satire is a much better way to put a point across and that’s not what I was doing. And I say that knowing that these videos are only half a year to a year old. Sure, there was a point in each of them, but it was overridden by a clusterfuck of ideas that ultimately were poorly conceived and sometimes didn’t get the message across clearly.
I always thought it’d be something small, just to do for fun without being heckled or anything or having people think I’m doing it for some sort of delusion of grandeur. I just wanted to know whether people had those sorts of opinions, as strong and as exaggerated as they sometimes were. And hell, I also wanted to know whether I could “do it”. Knowing that I CAN do something like that sets me up to do something better with that knowledge.
But my next endeavor, outside of music, needs to be something I can look back on and be happy with. Something I can put on a resume or portfolio and say “Yeah, I did that”, yet still be relevant in a modern internet culture. SOMETHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH VIDEOGAMES IF I’M BEING BROUGHT UP ALL THE TIME ON /v/ HUEHUEHUE.
If I want to do silly readings or silly music about /a/ or voice acting in general, I’ll set up alts for that. I’m not going to do an all-in-one account like FP again. It was a bad idea to merge everything.
This entire year is me doing research, finishing up a degree and getting ready to plunge back into something far more substantial next year. Behind the scenes, there was a lot of stuff going on that nobody really knew about that made it hard to elaborate on why I did what I did at certain times. Friends saw me struggling and advised me to stop and, what with my decision to stop a gap year and get back to work, I wouldn’t be able to create any content anyway. At least, nothing in the way of either fun escapist music or any rants.
So, you know, it’s rather more like;
“I understand how to do this better, so I’m going to do it better next time”
But it was either an increasing hostility towards foreverpandering, only to return with a complete style change OR starting from scratch again. And I relish every chance to start from nothing and work my way up again, quicker and better than before.
In terms of why I’ve put my music out there for everyone to follow for the next 6 or so months while I do said research, it’s to actually give people some content that they wouldn’t get by just following the Pandering account hoping that I’d make some silly music for a game or anime or something. It’s also content that I can look upon fondly because it’s content that I put my heart and all of my effort into. I have no worries about what I’ve built or the direction it has, which wasn’t the case with FP. And I might actually have time to make music while at Uni. I can’t force myself to do “rant” videos again, especially not when I know it’s what I’ve been berated for.
In the case of more content, like I said, it’s going to have to wait until I’ve done my degree, which coincides with a rather large amount of research to do with vidya gaems, which people sometimes enjoy. But it’ll have to be fresh. New identity, new start, new approach. Hopefully this time with less >mac :3c
I want to relegate a confusing and altogether weird year of my life to a dark dungeon and just say “that was fun, now let’s do something productive rather than destructive” because, at least in my mind and a fair few others, what I was doing was pretty destructive and sometimes didn’t offer anything that people didn’t already know.
I want (or possibly wanted in the case of FP) to make content that is universally appreciated or even liked. That might sound like a hard task, but I honestly don’t like to see people shitposting 90% of the time about the things that I make. I like to make people happy. That makes me happy. Being a major antagonist for an entire year made me slightly unhappy and, when I looked back on it and people’s reflections of it, made me unhappier still. I’d just rather be happy, don’t you think?
ForeverPandering is an identity that I happily leave behind because, just as it was founded on throwaway principles (creating content in a grey area copyright wise and just silly songs), it shouldn’t have a lasting memory outside of maybe one or two messages that did prevail. A skeleton in the closet and nothing more at this point. I’m happy that it went over well at the start and that so many people were entertained with the content that came out of it but, as with most things, it had to come to an end once I saw what it was doing and, more importantly, what I was doing.
It’s like being typecast after playing a role that you looked back on and hated. Pardon me if I don’t respond to “Pandering” elsewhere, nor like it.
MOVING ON FROM THE TL;DR
Ante Up was great and I still see people cosplaying that shit and it gives me so much satisfaction to know I had a hand in something that productive among a fandom. It was the same with Creamsicle on Tumblr. I know that I can do those sort of things which is why I don’t do them all that often.
As for the rants, I think the general feeling now that I look back on them is that they were actually pretty accurate guides on how to get popular on Youtube. So be thankful that they’re gone in that sense, otherwise “aspiring entrepreneurs” would have been taking notes the more people they spread to…
Some of the original music was good. I still like the very first song to go up on there, as well as Theme of the G.
You can wait half a year or so for me to do something even better, right?
(If you want to ask any questions, go ahead. I’ll try and fit them into a text post. Hopefully this all makes it a little clearer as to what transpired recently. See you later, broskis!)